Potty Training Update

A few thoughts on what is and is not working for us:

Things that help:

Diaper-free time.  Oh boy, does it ever help!  When Elsie is nakey-bum, she is suddenly on board with the pottying.  No, we don't catch it all.  Yes, there is plenty of cleanup to do when we miss, but at least she cares and at least she gets excited about trying to make it to the potty in time.  Attitude-wise, diaper-free time is a game-changer for us.  It ended our potty strike.  The drawback?  It's messy, chilly, not particularly socially acceptable in my circles, and doesn't travel well.  But it's my favorite tool in my kit, and I'm willing to be a bit house-bound if it means that Elsie is learning and succeeding on the potty.

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I just had to interrupt my writing because Elsie, with her naked bottom, announced that she had to poop, sat herself on the potty, and did just that. Ah!  Sweet success!  High-fives (with freshly washed hands!!!) all 'round!

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Tickling.  Why didn't I think of this earlier?  A good bought of giggles on the pot does more to loosen her up and get her peeing than anything else.  Elsie tends not to want to sit to pee until she's absolutely busting and well on her way to making a puddle on the floor.  Tickling before nap has saved me a few changes of sheets in the past few days. 


Things that used to help but don't anymore:

Peer pressure.  It used to be that putting "Mimi" (Elsie's doll) on the potty was enough to catch Elsie's interest.  When that novelty wore off, inviting Elsie into the bathroom with me whenever I had to go worked for a while.  Now she doesn't seem to care at all.

Training pants.  Elsie used to love wearing her big-girl pants, but no more.  Oh well.  At least she'll still go naked!

Potty books.  The kind for kids.  We have "Baby's potty" and "Potty," and she used to love them both.  She also used to love books on the potty in general, but now they're more of a distraction and I find it better to read the books on my lap and use the potty for elimination only.

Scheduled sit times. She really has to initiate or it's not going to happen.  Before her battle-of-the-wills stage, regular sit times worked out just fine.  Now it just makes for a struggle, and if I win and get her on her throne, she just sits on that pot for ages and doesn't go, even if she has to. That is to say, she always wins in the end, because it is her body, and she has control of it.  (Thank goodness for that.)

Heart-to-hearts.  This worked exactly one time.   It was the first day of the latest round of diaper-free time, and I could tell that Elsie had to pee because she was all antsy, but she wouldn't sit, so I sat her on my lap and told her that sometimes new things seem scary, but that I know she's a big brave girl and I know she can use her potty if she tries.  She took one more anguished lap around the house, then marched to her potty, sat down, and had herself a pee.  The heart-to-heart has never done anything but enrage her since.  Must have been a special day.

Things that haven't helped for us:

Bribery/Rewards.  I have definitely tried this with Elsie in the hopes that it would get her excited, but all it does is make her demand a cookie when I ask her to sit on the potty and she's in a crabby mood.  A high-five, a hug, and an "I'm so proud of you!" seem to work just as well without the bratty side-effects or the sugar.

Asking/Reminding.  We're at the point now where she really won't try to sit potty just because I suggest it.  I have more success just waiting for her to initiate... that is, laying off.  Easier said than done.  Even though I know it's not helping, I remind and ask her about the pot all the time.  It's a compulsion I can't seem to quit!

This is a lesson I should take beyond the potty training.  Nagging is almost impossible to contain, but it really doesn't help change anyone's behavior, and it is annoying, so I should stop.




Hope that helps a bit for other pottying parents.  I promise I won't talk about only this forever.  It's just where we are right now.  Nothing I've tried has given me overnight success.  It's a long, gradual road.  When I was a babysitter, I remember that it usually took the kids I cared for a couple of months of active training to get the hang of the potty, and a lot longer to be totally without accidents.  You wouldn't know it from all the training books out there.  They seem to imply quick results.  I'm grateful for my point of more realistic reference.  I feel very positive today, two weeks into my lots-of-naked-time tactic.  We are LEARNING, and that feels good.