Even now, when out and about, people often ask me, "How are you sleeping?" The question feels surprising, because Lucia is so clearly not a tiny baby anymore. The infant stage was difficult. It required co-sleeping. Transitioning her into a shared bedroom with Elsie was a challenge. For many weeks, Lucia would wake up when Elsie came to bed and take a long time to re-settle, keeping Elsie awake. Many nights, we whisked her away to a travel crib in our dining room. But that was a lifetime ago. Now sleep is stable.
I don't say this to brag -- I fully realize some of my friends don't sleep through the night for the first four years of their parenthood. I only say it to share what is working for us. Lucia's schedule is unusual. We happened upon it by chance. Maybe it will be worth a try for some other long-suffering parents.
Lucia goes to bed between 4:00 and 4:30 pm every night. Most often, she falls right asleep. Sometimes, she plays in her crib for a while and then settles. It's all good unless she loses her bink. Then she screams bloody murder until I go up and retrieve it for her. Once resting, Lucia sleeps until 6:00 or 6:30 am. That's right: I put her down for night-sleep when most toddlers are just waking up from an afternoon nap. She sleeps, solidly, until dawn the next morning.
Lucia also takes one nap a day, usually about an hour and a half, starting around 9:30 am.
No, Hub does not get to see her when he gets home from work at 8:00 pm every night. No, he doesn't get to see Elsie either. She goes to bed between 6:30 and 7:00 pm. Yes, this is a wonderful opportunity for him to become a more involved father at breakfast time. He has been helping to make breakfast, pack lunches, wipe sticky paws, do hair, and dress the girls over the past weeks. It is good for everybody.
When I tell people that my daughters have an early bedtime, they never imagine I mean as early as 4:00 pm. "Lucia chose the time" I explain. Her naps were a disaster, and one afternoon I put her down at 4:00, hoping to salvage a nap. I'm a more relaxed parent with my second, so when I reassured myself that she was still alive, I went with the age-old (and VERY PRUDENT) piece of advice: never wake a sleeping baby!
If she was still asleep, she must need the sleep. She didn't wake me up in the middle of the night as I had feared. She slept through til morning. I tried it again the next night. Again, success. We've been sleeping well ever since.
If she was still asleep, she must need the sleep. She didn't wake me up in the middle of the night as I had feared. She slept through til morning. I tried it again the next night. Again, success. We've been sleeping well ever since.
I realize that this schedule will flat-out not work for people picking up their babies at daycare at 5:30 every night. But for those who are home with your babies or have nannies, and just can't seem to figure out good, reliable sleep, here are Lucia's very own rules for long night sleeping:
1) Never wake a sleeping baby!
2) Consider a bedtime so early that everybody gives you side-eye.
3) Use as many sleep aids as you want! Our favorites: the lovey (stuffed animal), white noise maker, down sleep sack, and pacifier.
4) Emphasize parental bonding in the morning, when children are in good spirits and not in all-out meltdown mode.
I hope that this helps someone in the world! And if it doesn't help you, or if you're not sleeping yet, don't feel like it's something you're doing wrong. What they say about babies all being different... it is TRUE. Unless you are psychic (lucky!) you're left with trial and error, which takes time. Just keep an open mind and open ears. Hopefully you will hear from a parent who has the advice that fits your baby.
Just to reassure everyone that I don't have all the answers, Elsie's bedtime has become an epic nightly trial, which I will write about next time, and then you all can give me some much-needed advice!
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