Different Baby, Different Ballgame

It is such a different thing, having two living children.  I am glad that Lucia is generally easy-going.  I don't know what I'd do if she wasn't!

I have spent the last five months projecting my life out over Lucia's her fluffy little mohawk while she cuddles up to me in one carrier or another, sucking with Maggie Simpson tenacity at her little rubber pacifier.  There's one brand she prefers.  It had to be the $8 one.  I confess to spending $48 on pacifiers.  The things a mom does for peace and ease.

At night, we fall into bed -- the guest-bed -- together, just the baby and me.  We are well for two minutes, then sick for five days, then well for two minutes again -- the consequence of twice-daily visits to preschool.  This is a very different experience than Elsie's infancy.

I have not changed much at the heart of my parenting, but the details have all fallen out differently this time.  I am, quite inadvertently, practicing an awful lot of attachment parenting.  Philosophically, nothing has changed.  I still am aiming for independence over attachment and family balance over baby dictator.  I'm already looking forward to weaning.  But logistically, closeness, baby-wearing, nursing, and even co-sleeping make sense for Lucia.  Elsie never cared whether she was in a crib or in arms.  For Lucia, it meant the difference between a 2 hour night stretch and a 6 hour night stretch.  We slept together or I did not sleep at all.

I am relieved to be moving away from the shared bed.  I do not love co-sleeping.  I love sleeping.  Lucia spent the past week in her crib in Elsie's The Girls' Room.  I moved back into the marital bed with a slightly disgruntled husband.  (The man likes his space.)

We sleep not as well as I would like.  For nights at a time she will sleep until 5:00 or 6:00 in the morning, and I think, "Hooray!  We are out of the woods!"  Then it falls apart again and I'm up nursing at 3:00, willpower nowhere to be found.  "Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child" still has the best advice.  Put her to bed earlier.  It has made more difference than anything, but every little cold, cough and sniffle is enough to interrupt the sleep again.

I am equally tired now that we have moved Lucia to her crib.  On the plus side, I am much less angry and resentful now that everyone in the house wakes up with me.  There's no jealousy as green and mean as sleep jealousy!

***

I intended to write more today, but got interrupted by a hungry baby.  Will continue on this theme when I am able!