Update

Thank you, all, for the kind words this last week.

This miscarriage is a lot easier, emotionally, than my last one. I think it's a simple matter of how invested I was. With my first miscarriage, I was so pregnant. I was so sick, and I felt that pregnancy so strongly. I was ultra pregnant. When I found out that I was empty, I just had to wait and wait and wait.

This time, things went quickly and smoothly and naturally. I felt a little pregnant at first, then not at all within a few weeks. Hormone-wise, I feel back to myself again already.

I met my midwife and loved her. She took blood, and they tell me my HCG levels are low, as they should be. I'll give another sample next week.

I am doing far better than I expected.

It is spring time. My daughter is perfect. My marriage is strong. My garden is blooming. And I am learning patience. Slowly.

I don't know where I ever got the idea that I could plan my family. It isn't working out that way, and I am practicing letting go.