Sick Spring

At the end of winter, Hub and I looked at each other and declared,

"I can't believe we didn't get sick this winter!  This is the healthiest winter ever!"

Which is exactly what you should say to your spouse if you want to invite the bubonic plague into your home.

Fortunately, we're still plagueless, but the healthiest winter has led to the most sickly spring I've ever experienced.

I spent the two weeks before my vacation with a disgustingly productive cough (the broken rib kind), and the entire week of vacation in Florida bed-ridden with a sinus infection.  It's my own fault for being such a stubborn hippie about antibiotics.  I absolutely hate taking antibiotics.  It's a combination of scientific appreciation for the human biome, radical skepticism of modern medicine, and a personal history of the pills curing one infection only to invite another in its wake. 

But desperation brings even me to the clinic for antibiotics, and there's no desperation like staring at your airline ticket for tomorrow and feeling like you've got a vice crushing your face with your feet on solid ground.  I knew, with somber certainty, that my face would explode at altitude.

With that, I traded in my green snot and face-vice for the inevitable diarrhea and yeast infection of modern medicine.  In this case, the trade was a favorable one.  Thank goodness for probiotics.

***

Last night, I experienced an entirely new kind of illness.  I brushed my teeth, put on my pjs, and lay back in bed.  The room started spinning.  Spinning and spinning and spinning.  I could actually see it deforming at the edges, twisting and turning.  I was stuck on some awful carnival ride that should have been my cozy bed. I knew instantly what I was experiencing.  I imagined the classic Hitchcock poster overlayed with my bedroom ceiling, spiraling in and out.

Vertigo. 

I called Hub for help, but he couldn't hear me.  I sat up and tried to walk down the stairs, I steadied myself on every step and held both walls, but despite my best efforts, I kept crashing into the wall on my right like a drunk. 

It passed, and Hub got me settled.  I fell asleep, but woke to more spinning and seasickness in the middle of the night and again this morning.  Nothing quite like a dry-heave to start your day.  I can't do anything right now, because I can't change the position of my head.  Hub had to pick out my clothes for me and take Elsie to school.  Walking and driving feel perilous right now.  I'm not eating because I'm afraid I'll bring it all right back up.

I'm seeing the doctor at 10:00.  I am hoping beyond hope that my problem is one of misplaced crystals in the inner ear.  If that is the source of my vertigo, it can likely be fixed with a series of head-tilts at the GP's office.  If that's not the problem... then I don't know what.  I guess I come home and cry and puke until my body decides not to be a jerk anymore.

Any sufferers of vertigo reading here?  Tips are most welcome. This is all new to me.