Household Diplomacy

I know I have a few cat-lovers who read here, who often wonder, midst all this baby talk, "How are the cats?"

Healthy, happy, neglected, and tormented.

Neglect has been a running theme ever since Elsie was born. Infants suck off all your nurturing capacity and then start siphoning off your self-care energy, too. There's nothing left over for anyone. Not your pets. Not your husband. Nobody. New moms can all attest, it can be hard to find a moment to empty your own bladder in a manner that is befitting of an adult. Showers become a distant memory of warm water, soap suds, and privacy.

Toddlerhood is easier. I've had my self care back for some time now. If I need a shower, I just bring Elsie in with me. I'm running a little surplus on nurturing energy that I use to keep my marriage intact and to remember to feed my cats and to present them with a lap every now and then. The rest of the time, I set them free to entertain themselves outdoors. They love being outdoor cats and have never been healthier or happier, despite the neglect.

Elsie more than makes up for my lack of kitty enthusiasm.

"CHE-TH-TER!!!" She screatches, and runs up to him. She knows how to pet him, and tries, at first, to be gentle, but gets carried away in a matter of seconds, grasping his tail or his paw, or embracing him in a bear hug and trying to cart him off in her arms.

"Lilylilywiliwlily!!!" She says, burying her fists in Lily's long fur, then throwing herself with all of her weight on the cat.

I am always close on Elsie's tail, preventing as many of these interactions as I can and interrupting the rest. I take time to explain what cats do and do not like, and to interpret their behavior for her. Ears rotate backwards. Tail tips twitch. Occasionally a small hiss is issued as warning, but never claws and never teeth. Their patience is incredible.

Recently, I have seen a change in Elsie. Now she walks up to Chester and doesn't reach to touch him, just looks. You can see how excited she is. She bounces from foot to foot and wrings her hands and whispers "Che-th-tser! Kitty cat!" Then, instead of flinging her arms around him, the way I know she wants to, she brings him offerings. The picture that accompanies this post is Chester, sleeping among all the toys Elsie has bestowed upon him during his nap.

They've found some comfortable middle ground here. Elsie can obsess over the cats while still leaving them mostly alone. Life for the cats is getting better.